healing completely

I am writing this in tears 

I am in tears because I am realizing how much damage is going on around me because I thought I have healed 

I honestly just realized I'm not, the hurt from my previous relationships is starting to manifest because I've been burying all of it and now it's starting to show it self 

I am ruining a good thing because I lied to myself and said that I've healed but I've not because my last heart break awakened everything else that was buried 

I was the most loving and caring person ever, I forgave a lot and saying I am sorry was never the hardest the thing to do but now it is cause I apologized to all the wrong people and now when it's time for me to apologize to the one person who deserves it I can't, how can I be so cruel to the one person in this world that has decided to show me unconditional love, why am I projecting my anger and fury towards him,

I lied and said I've healed but I definitely have not

I've made loving me the most unbearable thing ever because for the longest time I was made to believe that loving me is so hard that I started believing and now it's manifesting,

I love my man, I love him with all that he comes with and I could never bare losing him, but if I'm meant to let go so that I don't bleed onto him I'll definitely do that because that man deserves better 

I am writing this in tears, in hopes to let go and start my healing process whether it is with him or not because I will give him the option to stay or leave, because healing requires one to open up old wounds and reflect on them and HEAL COMPLETELY 


this won't be an easy journey but I am ready to go into it 

♥️

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