The heart has a mind of its own

I have so much to say but I don't even know where to start, I have a alot in my heart and my heart is so heavy

Between being betrayed by friends you bent over for no matter, friend you spent sleepless nights praying for them and being told by the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life that they never loved you and everything they made you feel was just forced because they were never happy but felt compelled to learn to love you 

Everytime I read that message I run out of words myself because how do you even comprehend that and actually make sense of it 

And the crazy thing is that my heart still wants it's self right there but my mind knows exactly that's a very toxic and dangerous place to be there 

The heart is definitely like a child, very delicate and naive and the mind like a parent whose been through it all just trying to protect their kid yet that child runs off and does what it's mind pleases, I can't believe my heart actually considered forgiving him and actually believing him when he said that all those words were a mistake, the heart is indeed very naive

How can such be a mistake 

Today of all days, I wonr lie it hit really hard that it's really done, it's over man, and trust me I started doubting my decision to leave but again my mind never lies, I did make the right decision 


It's definitely going to be the longest healing journey of my life, I literally feel like something is sitting on my chest, but one thing I'll never do is hide my pain, I'll make sure I feel each and every emotion I need to feel through this no matter whose watching 

And I'll definitely get up from this too

Until next time 
P.s happy healing ♥️


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